Surgery

So this might get a little long I was not going to write about all this but I want to journal about our little trials that have been thrown our way. Jeff and I have been trying to get pregnant for just shy of 2 years now. We were so excited to tell our family on this past thanksgiving that we were expecting our second child. Well it did not end up happening like that. A few days before Thanksgiving I lost the baby I was 2 months along. I was scheduled for a d&c but my body decided to go into labor that night and I delivered the baby on my own. Ya not so fun women should not have to go through that. It is like having a baby with no epideral. Jeff was such an amazing support and gave me a blessing right before I delivered the little one. What an amazing blessing and literally right after he gave me the blessing the pain started to go away thank goodness. The power of blessings are amazing and I am so blessed to have that priesthood in my home. So after all that I strungled with emotion but knew I just needed to pick myself up and try again. So here we go again of course jeff loves to try. Sorry babe I had to put that in! Anyways you got to joke to make things a little brighter. Ok so we got pregnant again in Feb. and were so excited but nervous and the same time. Oh for sure we won't loose this baby, well yes it happened again I lost this one too I was about 5 weeks along. So at this point Jeff and I were just very sad and could not believe it happened again. My body had enough physicaly and emotionaly At this point I felt like I was put on this roller coaster. Happy sad happy sad pain comfort pain comfort, it was so crazy my mind and body were just done. I was not sure if I even wanted to try again. I know I will see these 2 little ones again some day but it still is not easy. Well I started to see a fertility specialist and he found out my problems 1st I already knew I had endometriosis and should have gotten surgery for it along time ago. Well the doc. found out through blood work that I can not support a pregnancy on my own because my progestrone is way to low. So when I do get pregnant I will have to get progestrone shots or take it vaginal yuk but what ever will work. I also have low thyroid. Wow I am 26 and I feel like I am falling apart. So anyway Doc. says to me you need to have the laparocopy surgery done before trying again. So I went home to talk to jeff got another blessing from my dad with Jeff and my brother inlaw Will. In the blessing it said I needed to have trust in the Doctor and alot of other good stuff. We decided we would try one more month and if nothing then plan for surgery. Well ya did not get prego so we scheduled the surgery for may 26th. I have known I needed to get this surgery. i thought I was going to need to get it the 1st time we started to try to have a child. It took 11 months but we were succesful and had Rustin. Well we have not been to succesful the second or third go around. On may 26 they wheeled me in to operate they were going to do a laparoscopy and go in laser off the endo and what ever else they found. they did a tubal flush and a D&C major clean out huh! I was a little scared since this was my first time going under the knife but I had recieved a blessin the night before from my wonderful hubby my father inlaw tedd and my brother inlaw Mike and when ever recieving a blessing it helps in so may ways. Surgery went well it was 2 hours long and after I came to the doc. came in and Jeff. The doc showed me pictures of my insides and told me that the endo was a 3.5 and 4 is the worst it can get so the endo is really bad and he also found 2 cycts on my right ovary. He said you have a 40-50% chance of getting pregnant now since it is so bad. IWhen he said that I was like what I thought it was going to be all gone and I was going to be good as new. Well I guess that was not the case. He wanted me to go on this premenopasual medication for 6 months to get the endo iunder control. I don't won't to do that I said so my other option is as soon as I start my next cycle is to go in and do some fertility shots. So that is what I am going to do. I know through going through all of this that nothing is in our hands it's all in the lords hands. So this is where it gets hard for me. I have to just not worry which is very difficult for me I like every thing in my life just so and I am finding out real quick that sometimes it is out of your hands. I am puttting all my faith a trust in the lord now and what ever happens happens and I will be ok with. I am just going to think positive and we will see what the out come will be. I am so greatful for all these trials I have been delt and for the blessings that we have recieved through them. I am so very greatful for my amazing husband who does so much for me and our son. I am also greatful for my sweet son Rustin and for the joy and happiness he brings to our family. I am so greatful I have been able to experience motherhood and the blessings it has brought to me. I am so greatful to have a heavenly father who loves me and knows my every needs. I am ready for what ever happens. I am blessed for my life and enjoy every minute of it!I hate getting an Iv They never can find my veins but this nurse was amazing! Jeff said after they gave me the 1st drugs that make you a little loopy he was messing with me and said I was laughing at everything but I do not remember. To bad we did not video tape it! It might have been scary or just funny! I will post the pictures of the inside of my stomach when I get them scaned in. They show the endometreosis and the cycts. They are kinda gross!